From: Alex Chaffee Subject: Snow Day To: yak@earthweb.com Date: Mon, 8 Jan 1996 12:30:01 -0500 (EST) This morning on the subway between Times Square and Grand Central I was sermonized. Picture a black man, late thirties, in good health, parka, hornrim glasses, shaved head covered by a bright green backwards baseball cap that says "Ge'em Aggies!" "I love this weather! You know why? Cause there ain't nothin you can do about it. It's all in God's hands! And I hope it keep snowin! Cause then maybe it'll make some o' you people go home an' start praying. Cause you got the atom bomb [he addressed this one to me personally], you got the bullet, but God got the weather. An it's like Solomon says, one little fox done spoil the vine! An if God wants to make it snow for forty days and forty nights, he sure can! You all better hope he don't do one o' them forty days and forty night thing, cause then they'll be snow up to the fifth floor! [Here he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.] An if there snow up to the fifth floor, then what you gonna do when you want to go out and get food? What you gonna do when you want go out and go to work? What you gonna do when you want go out and get a woman? You just gonna pray! Pray to the Lord! I love the Lord, cause he de*liver* me! I hope it *keep* snowin..." By this point we were walking past a newsstand; I loitered and he moved on. In other snow news: there are foot-high snow drifts piled on the subway tracks under every grating. The streets are filled with grinning idiots pulling sleds and wearing wool hats. On Park Avenue at noon, the only traffic was a single Jeep, arrogantly pushing through a small tornado of stinging snow. Last night I saw a cop lose control as he fishtailed around a corner at 5 mph. I got the atom bomb, - Alex ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright © 1996 Alexander D. Chaffee (alex@stinky.com). All rights reserved. See more at http://www.stinky.com/almanac/