Barrie Collins has
created a huge number of poems in his(*) first
week or two after learning of the wonder and joy of dactylitry.
Hedonist feminist
Sappho the Poetess
Wrote double-dactyls each
Day by the ton.
Ain't it a pity her
Sesquipedalian,
Double-dactylian
Doggerel's done?
Politics! Shmolitics!
Dole the Republican's
Balancing budgets while
Cutting your tax.
This only tells us his
Fiscal perception is
Incomprehensibly
Short on the facts.
Pitter pat, pitter pat.
Noah of Ararat
Heard the rain cease on the
Fortieth night.
Shem, Ham, and Japheth said
Antediluvian
Meteorologists
Called it just right.
Rubaiyat, rubaiyat.
Omar the Tentmaker
Lived on a diet of
Bread and white wine.
His moving finger wrote
Unretrogressively;
Not even cancelling
Half of a line!
Dramatis Personae.
Laurence Olivier
Acting in Hamlet and
Richard the Third
Strutting and fretting like
No other thespian
Overenunciates
Every word.
Woe is me! Woe is me!
Printfest Diana cried,
"Charles and Camilla had
Shared the same bed
So I took a lover
And whispered sweet nothings
Cellularphonically.
Is my face red!"
Higgledy jiggledy.
Strippers who bare it all;
Bellies and bosoms as
Tight as a drum.
Double dactyl has the
Rhythm that complements;
Tum-titty-tum-titty
Tum-titty-tum.
Three little piggledy
Little Red Riding Hood
Skipped through the forest to
Visit her Gran.
A wolf who had got to
Her Grannie's before her
Dematriarchalized
Little Red's clan.
This next (and last for now) one doesn't follow all the rules but then I
still crayon outside the lines.
Fairy tale, furry tail.
Crockett of Tennessee.
He put the coonskin in
Millinery.
Spooner thought Davy had
Predated Henry Ford
And "built him a car" when
He was just three.
Date: Wed, 09 Oct 1996 01:07:41 -0700
Halloween. Halloween.
Witches and skeletons,
Goblins and ghosties all
Wearing white sheets.
Magical evening when
All of our children will
Unsymmetrickily
Scurry for treats.
Mac attack! Mac attack!
Mr. and Mrs. Spratt;
He never once ate fat.
She abhorred lean.
So, without cutlery,
Both of them (she and he)
Yinandyangistically
Licked their plate clean.
Tragedy! Tragedy!
Romeo Montagu
By Julie Capulet
Once was possessed.
Families hated this
And our protagonists
Apothecarily
Went to their rest.
Yeah, yeah, I KNOW Julie stabbed herself but the whole mess started with
her deliberate OD on tranquilizers!
Date: Mon, 21 Oct 1996 22:40:41 -0700
Scalene. Isosceles
Math whiz Pythagoras
Thought transmigration was
Good for the mind.
He's better known for his
Infernal triangles;
Hypotenuisances
Of the worst kind.
Warp factor. Warp factor.
Kirk of the "Enterprise".
He's boldly going where
No man has been.
Dressed up in drag he'll beam
Into the ladies' room
Sanctumsanctorumly
Checking the scene.
Fooled by the ambiguity of Collins' first name, I mistakenly assumed
Barrie was a girl. Fortunately, he/she/it corrected me with the
following verse:
> What a calamity!
> Poor Alex Chaffee has
> Made the worst error that
> He (or she?) can!
>
> Unless I've switched sexes
> Since I checked this morning
> Physiologically
> I'm still a man!
Date: Sun, 27 Oct 1996 23:31:41 -0800
To: alex@earthweb.com
Subject: DD IV
Absolute monarchist
Machiavelli wrote
Practical pointers on
Being a prince.
Thus, we've described all his
Theory's proponents as
Machiavellian
Every day since.
Shish kebab. Shish kebab.
Vlad the Impaler had
All of his enemies
Served "en brochette".
This sharp reminder quite
Infundamentally
Drove a point home that they'd
Never forget.
Date: Wed, 30 Oct 1996 14:25:01 -0800
To: alex@earthweb.com
Subject: DD V.
Immelman? Himmel, man!
Manfred von Richthofen
(Scourge of the sky in the
"War to end war")
Flew a red triplane and
This little Fokker was
Incontrovertibly
Quick on the draw.
Alice in Wonderland's
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson tried
Taking her photograph
Au naturel!
Somewhat suspicious, her
Mother told Dodgson, "She's
Unphotographable -
You go to hell!!"
Date: Fri, 08 Nov 1996 23:36:04 -0800
To: alex@earthweb.com
Subject: Dactyl VI
Hi Alex
Weather's lousy so here are 4 more:-
Missioner. Missioner
Good Doctor Livingstone
"Missing" in Africa's
Dark trackless waste
When Stanley "found" him the
Doc thought his greeting was
Overpresumptuous
And in poor taste.
Pattycake. Watergate.
Tricky Dick Nixon was
Taping (for history)
His own demise.
Played back, it seems the tapes
Characteristically
Range from just stonewalls to
*xpl*t*ve lies.
Chugalug. Chugalug.
Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Pres. 32 of the
U.S. of A.,
Legalized alcohol
And is revered as a
Humanitarian
Since that great day!
Cherry tree. Cherry tree.
Baron von Munchhausen
Mangled the truth with his
Every remark.
All of his narratives
Lacked in veracity
(Terminologically
Wide of the mark!)
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